The ½ Way Mark: Paris, Amsterdam, and a few weeks in Belgium!

Okay, so we are ½ way through this European adventure of ours! Brandon and I turned to each other at one point tonight when discussing this and gave each other this look. The look could be described as something along the lines of “wow, we are totally crazy but somehow managing.” That really is what this has been. The days before we left I kept telling B how maybe this wasn’t the best idea. I was wrong. It is the best idea. No, not every day has been perfect, and no, it isn’t really vacation. But, no day is perfect, and there is no such thing as vacation with kids anyways. However, the memories are worth every second. B has to work so the boys and I are on our own during the day. We tend to stroll the squares, sometimes grab a waffle, and still dedicate time every day to be back at the hotel for the boys’ naps. We brought a lot of toys and books from home. With a trip of this length it was important to keep things fairly normal. So every day we do puzzles, color, read “brown bear, brown bear” a few hundred times, and obviously we play trains. Theo is so into Hank and watches his every move.


Some highlights of our trip so far:

Amsterdam. Our whole family just adores this city. The canals have us all enchanted, the people are all so friendly, and our hotel there is super luxurious. We rented a pedal boat this time and hit the water. It was super fun, well, until it wasn’t fun anymore. The last 15 minutes both kids lost it, a certain mom or dad (no comment) had gotten the boat a little lost, and after an hour of pedaling without a break, we were all ready to be “all done” like Hank was signing.



Food. Oh, the food. While I actually love cooking, there is something so lovely about not having to grocery shop, meal plan, and actually cook with a nursing baby in the ergo and a toddler signing “hungry” the whole time. The fact that Europe has a ridiculous amount of restaurants every five feet and they all taste better than the last is just a bonus.
An immensely delicious bonus.



Trains. This goes on the list because my little engineer, Hank, is enamored by each and every one he sees. Luckily for him there plenty of trolleys over here. Our hotels have all had awesome views and Hank just hangs out at the window watching the trains. We go for a walk and he points them all out. His favorite place for trains was Antwerp, Belgium, because we stayed at hotel directly across the central station. Trains 24/7 = a Hank-worthy trip.



Paris. Okay, so I am not at all a fan of this city. It doesn't do it for me (the nutella crepes are not included in this statement of dislike - I love me some Parisian street crepes). It was nice to get that token family shot in front of the Eiffel tower and Hank was a big fan of the light show! We also took the boys to Euro Disney just outside of Paris. It was definitely cool, but not nearly as nice as WDW in Orlando, Florida, USA. Why is everything so dirty in/around Paris?!!



This weekend we are off to Luxembourg! None of us have been to this tiny country before, so that is pretty cool. This weekend was planned as an R&R weekend - as in we didn't plan much.
We are staying at a castle in the country and hope to eat, rest, go for a bike ride, and just hang out together! I am pretty excited for the downtime!


What is your favorite place in Europe or a place you would like to visit?
Leave a comment and let me know!

Thanks for reading,
Amanda

Guest Blogging!

I am super excited to be doing a 4 part guest blog series over at Mamahive! Mamahive is this awesome community of moms and they have a lot of great writers over there! Go check them out! Here is the ->link<- to my piece - like + share, please!!

Update!

It’s been a year since Hank’s diagnosis. While certain times have been trying, the relief of knowing and therefore understanding our son greater, is much better than the alternative. Hank has made a lot of progress! One year ago he couldn’t even open his mouth to make a sound and now I listen to the beautiful word “mama” on repeat throughout the day – a word that may drive some mother crazy with its repetition, but for me I embrace because I know all too well that it is a miracle every time.
While autism clearly plays a large role in our daily life, it is NOT our life. Having a blog focus on just that now seems silly. My son has autism, yes, but he also is the most fantastic train track engineer I have ever met. He loves baseball and has no desire to do anything relevant to soccer (we found out the latter after paying $60 for him to chase birds on the sidelines.) Hank has been to Europe twice and has spent over 5 months of his life in hotels (I have come close to stealing some of his delta miles). Wheels are a huge fascination of his and he could watch trains, cars, buses for days. He is obsessed with dinosaur train. He likes the color red. He hates pants and takes his shoes off immediately when entering the house. He loves his brother and displays this by rubbing Theo’s head throughout the day. Hank tantrums. Hank smiles sweetly when he wants something. Hank is clearly two!
So here is the update: The Planets Spin will be covering all of the madness going forward. The travel, domestic engineering, brothers, faith, play, and all other elements of our crazy family. And, of course, a dash of autism for good measures.

it's been a while/henry's birthday

It’s been a while. I could go into the details of all the things that have kept me away, but let’s just summarize it in really cool hashtags:

#iwassuperpregnantforawhilethere

#thenihadanotherbabyandallthatjazz

#henryturnedtwoanditisveryevidentinhisbehavior

My baby boy is surely growing – Henry turned TWO (!) the first weekend in November! We celebrated him with a baseball themed party since baseball is nothing short of everything important in his world. The day was perfect as Henry was so genuinely happy and flexible the whole day. Leading up to his birthday however was a really difficult time for me. The typical emotions of concern I face daily were suddenly amplified to an all new level. The reality of my sweet boy turning two with a non-verbal autism label was unbearable at times. A birthday is supposed to be a beautiful celebration, and I was a little too caught up worrying about the yet to come. Parenting is this delicate balance of having to prepare for every aspect of the future, while trying viciously to still live in the moment. I struggled intensely to be present, to fight away the gloom, and to embrace the magnificence of having spent the last year with my incredible son.

On his birthday I succeeded in being genuinely optimistic and happy. When he awoke Brandon and I excitedly entered his room and explained it was finally HIS BIG DAY! He seemed to truly understand all we had been talking about to him in the weeks leading up and was instantly giggling and clapping his hands eagerly. Any semblance of worry I face can always be easily diminished by my boy’s laughter and happiness.

His favorite parts were:

The gigantic bunch of balloons! They had been too tangled in transport to spread around the house like planned, but he liked the large bunch better and he would tug at the strings until they would all come down at once and back up. This went on for days after his party.

He ate a couple of sugar cookies before his party even started, but refused the ones with icing.He also wouldn’t eat cake. So his birthday consisted of icing-free cookies and broccoli, and he thought that was pretty awesome.

He opened presents with excitement, although once his new train set was unwrapped he kept exclaiming “mmm mmm” (like choo choo but with mouth closed) and going back to look at it before opening the next gift.

When he opened up a band in-a-box present filled with instruments I passed them around so everyone was playing something, and he moved to the rhythm joyfully.

This year, there were no tears when he was sang Happy Birthday too, as he was gladly the center of attention! Together, we blew out his candle.

Some moments are too perfect for words.

Moments

“I have not lost faith in God. I have moments of anger and protest.

 Sometimes I've been closer to him for that reason.”

Elie Wiesel

The moment Henry began self-injurious behaviors I was shocked. Even still, while it isn't an entirely new behavior, the shock and sadness hasn't decreased. Seeing your child hurt is unnaturally painful, and for it to be self-inflicted is a most unfair situation.

My heart has broken for him. I cannot even begin to explain the paralyzing horror that sets in when my perfect, sweet child becomes so frustrated that the only way he can cope is to raise his hands to his head and inflict pain upon his precious body.

I immediately intervene and bear hug him with his hands pinned. Sometimes the deep pressure can calm him, sometimes it doesn't  Sometimes the behavior can easily be replaced by a few rounds of “the wheels on the bus” and some wipers going “swish, swish, swish.” Sometimes the only solution is time, a seemingly endless span of time.

I break down, I pray, I cry. I become angry and jealous and jaded. I wish a million times over that this moment won’t ever happen again.

And still it does, and we have to deal.

I make a tear-filled phone call to my husband looking for the never-faltering support that comes immediately upon answering his phone. I record the behaviors in his developmental log, despite the feeling of betrayal that accompanies it when I do so. I send a text message to a close friend looking for support.

Then the best thing happens. Henry walks over to me, plops himself in my lap and shoves a book into my face. He wants to read his Romeo + Juliet counting primer book. He gets excited on page nine; because he knows we are almost to page ten. “Ten Kisses” I read aloud and immediately begin to smother him with all of the kisses and mushiness that a mother can. Thank God for these moments. 

hello, there.

This blog is for me. Well it’s for everyone who cares to have a glimpse into our lives, but realistically, it’s for me. 

My outlet.

Those who are on my Facebook (and don’t see /haven’t met Hank) were quite shocked to learn of his diagnosis. He IS very much the smart, handsome, silly boy I fill up their newsfeeds with. I don’t fill my statuses with negative talk, because it just doesn’t seem the right place. I do, however, want this blog to be a more fair representation. I choose happiness, I choose to think positive, and for this blog I choose reality.

The truth of our lives isn’t complex; it’s actually pretty basic. We live in a cycle of happiness, faith, tears, joy, pain, hope, and repeat. The good outweighs the bad. I have moments of feeling that another 30 seconds alone of a situation may break me, and ten minutes later laughing with all I have. There are days filled with spinning, self-injurious behaviors, and no eye-contact, and the next day the normalcy is almost overwhelming. Like any parent I wish some days would end already, and stall at bedtime because I want just five more seconds to smell his freshly washed hair before he drifts to sleep.

It’s a blessed life, regardless.